12.12.05
Posted in life at 11:16 pm by
I am a cynic. And, I’m often not very nice about it either.
Sometimes, I’m so cynical, that all that pops into my head are the most cynical of ideas. Particularly, I’m cynical when it comes to the state of contemporary Christianity. I’m cynical about church, I’m cynical about worship, I’m cynical about even the best intentions Christians have.
Sometimes, that brash cynicism gives me a fresh perspective. Almost all of the time that cynicism pisses people off. Thing is, I’m so cynical, I don’t really care. My default is that who ever I’ve pissed off in my wake is pissed because there’s something wrong with them, because they don’t like the wrong I’ve pointed out in their lives.
Sometimes, I’m right about the wrong in their lives. The thing is, that’s not much of an excuse to be running around like I’ve got the answers, especially when I’m so wild about claiming that I’m a question person, not an answer person. Frankly, I’m the worst kind of question person. You know, the kind that pays homage to loving questions, not answers, but deep down, my answer is that you’re wrong and I’m right.
Sometimes, it takes a long time for me to learn things. Mostly, I attribute that to my stubborn cynicism.
Sometimes, I get a little depressed, depressed because I have come to the realization that I have grown to love my cynical little life. Depressed because I realize that cynicism is rarely joyful, often negative, commonly warranted, and frequently frequent. To say, though, that I love my cynical life is much different than saying that I’m joyfully cynical. I’m not.
Sometimes, cynicism is warranted. However, to be cynical without joy, to be cynical without cynicism for one’s self, to be a cynic without a big friggin’ grain of salt, is always bad form.
Tags: Confession, Cynicism.
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Posted in life at 11:16 pm by
I am a cynic. And, I’m often not very nice about it either.
Sometimes, I’m so cynical, that all that pops into my head are the most cynical of ideas. Particularly, I’m cynical when it comes to the state of contemporary Christianity. I’m cynical about church, I’m cynical about worship, I’m cynical about even the best intentions Christians have.
Sometimes, that brash cynicism gives me a fresh perspective. Almost all of the time that cynicism pisses people off. Thing is, I’m so cynical, I don’t really care. My default is that who ever I’ve pissed off in my wake is pissed because there’s something wrong with them, because they don’t like the wrong I’ve pointed out in their lives.
Sometimes, I’m right about the wrong in their lives. The thing is, that’s not much of an excuse to be running around like I’ve got the answers, especially when I’m so wild about claiming that I’m a question person, not an answer person. Frankly, I’m the worst kind of question person. You know, the kind that pays homage to loving questions, not answers, but deep down, my answer is that you’re wrong and I’m right.
Sometimes, it takes a long time for me to learn things. Mostly, I attribute that to my stubborn cynicism.
Sometimes, I get a little depressed, depressed because I have come to the realization that I have grown to love my cynical little life. Depressed because I realize that cynicism is rarely joyful, often negative, commonly warranted, and frequently frequent. To say, though, that I love my cynical life is much different than saying that I’m joyfully cynical. I’m not.
Sometimes, cynicism is warranted. However, to be cynical without joy, to be cynical without cynicism for one’s self, to be a cynic without a big friggin’ grain of salt, is always bad form.
Tags: Confession, Cynicism.
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Trackback URL »
http://www.badchristian.com/2005/12/12/why_i_suck_volume_i/trackback/
Rachel said,
December 16, 2005 at 9:27 am
i just found your blog, and i haven’t read enough to know the full extent to what you are about, but i really appreciated reading what i did. i was a pastor’s kid and now i still am a Christian, but being a Christian to me means something completely different than to what organised Christianity has seemingly turned into. I get disapointed at times and wonder if i really am a Christian.. (sorry I’m rambling) but it made me breathe a sigh of relief to realise there were other people out there that vaguely believed what i do
Rainer Kaiser said,
July 30, 2006 at 3:42 pm
Hey
I hate to butt into other people’s conversations, but I can ditto that.
I’m not a P.K, but Christianity doesn seem like all hard work.
It’s pretty tough to “sell” to other people when most of the time I could hardly recomend it to anyone (except for that not-going-to-hell part). You know what I mean? Still, I guess I’d rather be a sucky Christian that a happy heathen, though when i read that scripture on luke-warmness i reckon God takes a dim view on that idea. I’d love to start a church called “Christians that Suck”, like an AA meeting for all God’s kids who can’t quite seem to get it right.
Anyway, i gotta go get some councel before my view gets any darker.
Later dudes.
J