12.01.05
Posted in fun, grad school at 10:46 am by brandon
Hi everybody. Brandon here. Yeah, I know, you hardly know me any more. I’m so busy with school and school work, you’re feeling ignored, I know. Fortunately, there’s probably only about three of you around to be reading this little plea for help.
Anyhow, I apologize for the light blogging of late. I do hope to get back on top of things–though it probably won’t happen for real until next semester, or during Christmas break at the earliest.
But, here’s my goal today. For a study I’m planning, I need to come up with some vignettes. And, if these vignettes actually resemble, you know, real life, that would be a big plus. Here’s the kind of vignette that I’m looking for:
I need examples of uses of risky humor that you’ve used, or have heard at work. Some types of risky humor that I’d love to hear about: sexual humor, use of profanity, etc. What I’d like you to do is to type your little vignette up (if possible into a little script of who said what to whom) and post it as a comment. If you wish, you can change your little monniker so that we all don’t know who you are.
Also, I’d like you to include some explanation of how the comment was taken, what the sex of the sender of the risky humor was and what the sex of the receiver of the risky humor was, what was the context (construction site vs. cubicle land vs. law office, etc). And, anything else you can think of that might be pertinent.
What’s in it for you? Of course, there’s the obvious fun times sharing funny stories of risky humor at work. And, on top of all of that, we’ll all be able to read through the little collection of vignettes and have a bunch of laughs…won’t that be great?!?
What?
What else is in it for you?
Geez. Demanding aren’t we? Well, I suppose I could, if I choose your little vignette to use in a study I’m putting together, I could publish your name (or pseudonym) in the dedication section of the article if it should ever be published. Oh, and you’d have my eternal gratitude, n’ shit. Now, I’m not promising that it’ll be your name up in lights, here. I’m still planning on taking most of the glory for your hard work, but in small type on the bottom of the page, someday, you could see your name–possibly even displayed tastefully.
So let’s have at it. Tell your stories of risky humor…and for the love of all that is good and holy, let’s not censor.
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Posted in fun, grad school at 10:46 am by brandon
Hi everybody. Brandon here. Yeah, I know, you hardly know me any more. I’m so busy with school and school work, you’re feeling ignored, I know. Fortunately, there’s probably only about three of you around to be reading this little plea for help.
Anyhow, I apologize for the light blogging of late. I do hope to get back on top of things–though it probably won’t happen for real until next semester, or during Christmas break at the earliest.
But, here’s my goal today. For a study I’m planning, I need to come up with some vignettes. And, if these vignettes actually resemble, you know, real life, that would be a big plus. Here’s the kind of vignette that I’m looking for:
I need examples of uses of risky humor that you’ve used, or have heard at work. Some types of risky humor that I’d love to hear about: sexual humor, use of profanity, etc. What I’d like you to do is to type your little vignette up (if possible into a little script of who said what to whom) and post it as a comment. If you wish, you can change your little monniker so that we all don’t know who you are.
Also, I’d like you to include some explanation of how the comment was taken, what the sex of the sender of the risky humor was and what the sex of the receiver of the risky humor was, what was the context (construction site vs. cubicle land vs. law office, etc). And, anything else you can think of that might be pertinent.
What’s in it for you? Of course, there’s the obvious fun times sharing funny stories of risky humor at work. And, on top of all of that, we’ll all be able to read through the little collection of vignettes and have a bunch of laughs…won’t that be great?!?
What?
What else is in it for you?
Geez. Demanding aren’t we? Well, I suppose I could, if I choose your little vignette to use in a study I’m putting together, I could publish your name (or pseudonym) in the dedication section of the article if it should ever be published. Oh, and you’d have my eternal gratitude, n’ shit. Now, I’m not promising that it’ll be your name up in lights, here. I’m still planning on taking most of the glory for your hard work, but in small type on the bottom of the page, someday, you could see your name–possibly even displayed tastefully.
So let’s have at it. Tell your stories of risky humor…and for the love of all that is good and holy, let’s not censor.
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Trackback URL »
http://www.badchristian.com/2005/12/01/quell_those_dreams_of_publication/trackback/
dorsey said,
December 1, 2005 at 11:49 am
I see right through you. You’re just looking for help with an assignment.
I’ll have to think awhile about a vignette, but here’s a fun risky thing to say:
When ever something goes wrong, I like to exclaim, “Aw, for crying out loud!” except that, being from Jersey, I can get away with saying “fuh” with a half-second pause, instead of “for.” And the trick is to time the delivery in such a way that it sounds like, “Aw, fuhk…ryin’ out loud!”
For that split second, everyone freezes in terror, then looks at you to see if you meant to make it sound like that. Your job is to act like you noticed nothing unusual. This works great in the church office, except if there’s a youth pastor around, because he usually pees himself laughing. That kinda diminishes the effect.
kate said,
December 1, 2005 at 1:31 pm
I have a great anecdote from a student meeting the other day, but as I wasn’t the person who let fly with the expletives, I’ll have to get his permission before I tell it.
Paul said,
December 1, 2005 at 4:05 pm
I have a small story posted on my blog you might like to use - it’s when I used risky humour to get a message to a group of high school students.
http://www.teusner.org/blog/2005/10/setting-myself-up-for-trouble.html
Anonymous said,
December 1, 2005 at 11:05 pm
Here, I have one for you. I’m using an alias because…well, it’s about my office - a law practice.
Yesterday, I had this discussion with my managing partner and an attorney in NY that we work with:
Me: “We really need to schedule a visit to DC to get some ‘face time’ with [a federal regulator].”
NY Lawyer: “Judging by what happened over the last week, you’re going to need some ‘hand time’ with him.”
Me: “Just the middle finger or the whole hand?”
Partner: “The whole hand, baby.”
NY Lawyer: (Laughs) “Yeah. Maybe more…bring your toothbrush.”
Miranda said,
December 1, 2005 at 11:08 pm
When I worked retail, our store (a chain discount shoestore) was having the buy one, get one half off sale. An elderly man asked me if that meant that the cheapest of the two pair was the one that was half off. I told him yes, that was how the promotion worked (as it does in all sales like that). So he promptly says, “Oh, so this is a Jew store.” And laughed. He was a customer, so I had to hide my discomfort, and the fact that I didn’t think it was funny, but he and his wife were cracking up.
Currently, I work front desk at a hotel. One morning I was working during breakfast and one of managers was around. She noticed that the milk was in the cartons it comes in, instead of some special bottles we’re supposed to have. She told me to go up to some of the other managers and ask them “where are my pretty white jugs?” Needless to say, as a buxom white lady, there was no way in hell I would ever use those words. But that manager was pretty amused with herself.
Shteevie said,
December 1, 2005 at 11:52 pm
I remember talking about AIDS in the workplace once and someone said “the worst thing about getting AIDS is leaving your friends behind.”
Took me a while before I got it. (The joke, not AIDS.)
D said,
December 2, 2005 at 10:14 am
…kinda raunchy, but after the AIDS joke, I figured I’ll let this one out…
…so I worked at a college textbook store, and as I was walking back and forth doing errands a pseudo-supervisor (a good friend of mine, actually) was mixing a bowl of free gum samples, trying to evenly distribute them. And she says, rather innocently, “it’s just like tossing a salad.”
I stopped, looked over at her, grinned, and said “I think you need to use more tongue.”
You could hear the “ewwwwww” ring out across the entire store; it was great.
…I’m so weird sometimes
jeff said,
December 2, 2005 at 11:51 pm
I looked at the new guy at work the other day and asked him this question:
“Let’s say you were on a camping trip with only one other guy. you wake up in the morning, your mouth is gagged… you hands and feet are tied… you see a dirty jar of open Vasoline laying on the ground next to you… and your butt hurts really bad…
“Would you tell anyone about it?”
He immediately replied, “No way!!”
I paused, then said, “Wanna go camping?”
He just groaned & laughed.
Is it strange that the only sexual thing I can think up is of a homosexual nature?? (Not that there’s anything WRONG with that…)
Oh well, i tried…
LAmom said,
December 3, 2005 at 10:10 am
Midwives get lots of opportunities for risky humor. This happened in a childbirth class. I was an apprentice midwife at the time, my senior midwife was teaching the class.
The senior midwife is describing all these extreme things that happen to the woman’s vagina during birth: as the baby’s head starts to emerge, you’ll feel a stretching and burning sensation; afterwards, we’ll check to see if there is any tearing of your vaginal tissues; you might need to get sutured, if so, we’ll inject some local anesthetic down there; etc.
A young woman who’s pregnant for the first time gets a little freaked out and expresses a wish that she could just have the baby come out of her mouth instead.
My reply: “But honey, then everybody will wonder how you got pregnant!”
Everyone in the room cracked up, including the nervous mom, who went on to have lovely natural birth.
LAmom said,
December 3, 2005 at 10:16 am
There’s another joke that I’ve never actually told to a patient, but I have told patients that I’m NOT going to tell them that joke. So what I’ve actually had are dialogues like this . . .
Nervous woman on exam table: I’ve never had a Pap smear before.
Me: It’s so tempting in this situation to make a joke like, “Perfect! I’ve never DONE one before!” But I would never really say that to you . . .
Mike said,
December 3, 2005 at 3:12 pm
This isn’t terribly off-color, but the situation made it a cracking up time.
During my senior year of college, I was asked to take a turn at preaching in a small, rural church in Saskatchewan. It was Easter Sunday and the church was a conservative Mennonite church. My fiance and two others were with me. After the service, an older couple invited us over for dinner. We obliged happily.
They stuffed us in good Mennonite style and then talked about themselves. At one point, the husband pointed out: “Don’t you love my wife’s buns. I get more enjoyment out of these buns than anything else she gives me. I married her for these buns.”
Milk spewed out of my nose as I tried not to laugh. My fiance choke for at least 30 seconds. We left shortly after.
Shteevie said,
December 3, 2005 at 6:36 pm
Another story…
I augment my income as a magician. Several years ago, I was hired to do a series of Christmas magic shows at several Hutterite colonies in the area.
That’s right, Hutterites. If you’re not familiar with that religious tradition, they are very similar to the Amish.
They speak German and English and they enjoy a communal way of life. I think they have electricity and running water but they don’t allow any music and they are very strict. The men wear work clothes and the women wear dresses and black kerchiefs with white polka dots on them.
So I was a little nervous going into the show. I do one trick where I turn a black silk and white silk into a black silk with white polka dots and a white silk with black polka dots. It’s a real crowd pleaser and I’ve used it in my act for years.
Shortly after doing this trick, I picked up the black silk with white polka dots, put it on my head, and said: “Look, I’m a Hutterite woman.”
The crowd laughed, much to my relief.
benjamin said,
December 5, 2005 at 12:31 am
So a guy at work discovered that his oldest son (12) had been intercepting the wife’s lingerie catalogs and was stashing them in the back bathroom. He apparently thought I’d take this conversation seriously, but come on, how often do you have someone come up and tell you their son’s a masturbator? So now he’s kind of pissed at me because I made a joke out of the whole thing, such as suggesting that he could save some money at christmas by getting the boy a bottle of hand lotion and a box of kleenex.
The funniest part is that he didn’t think the boy was actually spanking it, because he didn’t start until he was fifteen or something freakish like that.
Erin said,
December 5, 2005 at 3:41 am
Conversation from this week at work (completely inappropriate and, Mary, if you are reading this, remember that I introduced you to this site and I was completely exhausted, this is not the regular content of my conversation with clients):
Context: I work in a group of homeless shelters that are all run by the same agency (one women’s shelter and two men’s). There was a married couple that was moving out into an apartment after being with us (in separate shelter) for almost 3 months. I was on call this week and worked 3rd shift due to people calling off sick every night, in addition to my regular day shift (70 hours of work, 15 hours of sleep–at crazy hours, none of them with my husband).
Client: We’re moving into our apartment today and, of course, I started my cycle yesterday.
Me: You could just throw down a towel.
Client: Oh, I could never do that.
Me: I could never not do that.
The client and my two staff who witnessed the exchange looked at me, completely shocked, and then started laughing, like I was joking. I didn’t even try to explain that I absolutely was not joking, just very much missing normal bed hours (and activities) with the man I love.
I don’t know that this is what you were looking for, as it wasn’t really my intention to be humorous, but, there you have it.