09.12.05
Posted in grad school at 10:24 pm by
Every once in a great while, I complain about being a grad student. Sometimes, it’s because I just got my ass handed to me by a professor who, in a round about way, reminds me of my total depravity. Other times, I complain because it feels like I might never be finished with this little ’social experiment’ called higher learning. I really shouldn’t complain, eventually life will be normal again…but sometimes, being a grad student just gets to me.
Sometimes, I think I should’ve gone to grad school directly from my experience as an undergrad. But, then I remember I was a lazy ass student whose 100 thousand dollar (adjusted for the cost of inflation) education was wasted on him. I lament this fact sometimes. I really should’ve worked harder. This makes me realize that taking some time off to work between my BA and my MA and PhD wasn’t such a bad idea.
I can’t help but think I would’ve learned so much more had I been so persuaded to actually DO my readings. Yet, that supreme bit of advice somehow never made its way into my thick head. Don’t get me wrong, I learned things in college–just not as much as I should’ve learned.
Fortunately, a touch of perspective ala’ 3 years in the ‘real world’ seemed to do just the trick for my reticence to do my readings. Now, I’m a bonafide geek. I show up in class with the answers to most questions bouncing around in my head somewhere. I’m genuinely interested in what I study. That never happened (or only happened a few times) as an undergrad.
As I read the above, I am forced to wax philosophical on a few things. First, I’m incredibly self-absorbed right now. Set on pondering the random pitfalls of my own little educational existence. Second, the first thing is probably true because I spend so much time alone. I miss my wife.
You see, with gas prices being what they are, and with grad school being less than excited about the prospects of picking up and moving closer to Grand Rapids for my sake, I’ve started spending 2 nights a week in my little office in East Lansing. (Please, nobody tell the administration I’m sleeping on a cot in my office–I think that’s a violation of fire code.) Even as I write this, I’m typing in my 9 x 9 ‘bedroom.’
I know these seasons are only temporary, and that the end goal is worth it. (And, I know that my wife–also a grad student in addition to holding down a full time job–is just as busy as I, if not busier.)
I know that a blog is a place to have discourse. It’s a place to share ideas, and grow, and learn, and all that jazz. But, in another very real sense, y’all are a touch of community for me. A place that I come to be known when my Jen isn’t around. So, for being a community when I needed one most…friends, for that, I thank you.
We all live crazy lives. Many of you who come here to read are in the early stages of adulthood, you’re striving like mad to make ends meet, to establish yourselves academically, professionally, financially. And, while we share ideas, and we share thoughts, I think it’s only fair to at least identify that, to a degree, we share our lives, too.
We struggle out loud, and we cry out loud, and we laugh out loud. At eachother, and for each other. So, I guess what I’m saying is this: Thanks. Oh, and, I think we should have a blogvention.
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Posted in grad school at 10:24 pm by
Every once in a great while, I complain about being a grad student. Sometimes, it’s because I just got my ass handed to me by a professor who, in a round about way, reminds me of my total depravity. Other times, I complain because it feels like I might never be finished with this little ’social experiment’ called higher learning. I really shouldn’t complain, eventually life will be normal again…but sometimes, being a grad student just gets to me.
Sometimes, I think I should’ve gone to grad school directly from my experience as an undergrad. But, then I remember I was a lazy ass student whose 100 thousand dollar (adjusted for the cost of inflation) education was wasted on him. I lament this fact sometimes. I really should’ve worked harder. This makes me realize that taking some time off to work between my BA and my MA and PhD wasn’t such a bad idea.
I can’t help but think I would’ve learned so much more had I been so persuaded to actually DO my readings. Yet, that supreme bit of advice somehow never made its way into my thick head. Don’t get me wrong, I learned things in college–just not as much as I should’ve learned.
Fortunately, a touch of perspective ala’ 3 years in the ‘real world’ seemed to do just the trick for my reticence to do my readings. Now, I’m a bonafide geek. I show up in class with the answers to most questions bouncing around in my head somewhere. I’m genuinely interested in what I study. That never happened (or only happened a few times) as an undergrad.
As I read the above, I am forced to wax philosophical on a few things. First, I’m incredibly self-absorbed right now. Set on pondering the random pitfalls of my own little educational existence. Second, the first thing is probably true because I spend so much time alone. I miss my wife.
You see, with gas prices being what they are, and with grad school being less than excited about the prospects of picking up and moving closer to Grand Rapids for my sake, I’ve started spending 2 nights a week in my little office in East Lansing. (Please, nobody tell the administration I’m sleeping on a cot in my office–I think that’s a violation of fire code.) Even as I write this, I’m typing in my 9 x 9 ‘bedroom.’
I know these seasons are only temporary, and that the end goal is worth it. (And, I know that my wife–also a grad student in addition to holding down a full time job–is just as busy as I, if not busier.)
I know that a blog is a place to have discourse. It’s a place to share ideas, and grow, and learn, and all that jazz. But, in another very real sense, y’all are a touch of community for me. A place that I come to be known when my Jen isn’t around. So, for being a community when I needed one most…friends, for that, I thank you.
We all live crazy lives. Many of you who come here to read are in the early stages of adulthood, you’re striving like mad to make ends meet, to establish yourselves academically, professionally, financially. And, while we share ideas, and we share thoughts, I think it’s only fair to at least identify that, to a degree, we share our lives, too.
We struggle out loud, and we cry out loud, and we laugh out loud. At eachother, and for each other. So, I guess what I’m saying is this: Thanks. Oh, and, I think we should have a blogvention.
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Trackback URL »
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beth said,
September 13, 2005 at 12:24 am
Stumbled across your blog; thanks for a good read and a good think - hang in there!
-a fellow grad student-
Eric L. said,
September 13, 2005 at 2:19 am
Hey Brandon,
I never went on to grad school but i do know what it’s like to go back to school a little older than the other young bucks.
I went to university right after high school and made it two and a half years before I had to stop to work full time. Seven years later I decided to go back and earn my bachelor’s degree.
It took some time for me to readjust mentally - to relearn how to learn again - but I found myself engaged in class differently this second time around. I did my readings. I asked questions in class. The whole bit.
Yeah, it was worth it. I graduated valedictorian this past February. Many people figure that i’m just smart - but they don’t realize the hard work, sacrifices, and decisions that i had to make. It can be a lonely place. Thank God for community - be it in the blogosphere or in the real world.
I commend you, Brandon. I share with you a quote I thought of often while in school to keep me going: “I will do today what others will not do, so that I can have tomorrow what others will never have.”
Hang in there bud!
Eric
MMM said,
September 13, 2005 at 10:19 am
just let me know the time and place for the blogvention.
i’ll travel from the desert of the real.
keep plugging away. it’s a good thing.
Audrey said,
September 13, 2005 at 11:55 am
Brandon,
If it’s any consolation, you aren’t the first grad student to overnight in the office, and I doubt you’ll be the last.
If it helps at all (it didn’t for me, but it might for you) just think of it as yet another rite of passage, or another quantum of abuse checked off by that Great Graduate Dean in the Sky…
Audrey
shupac said,
September 15, 2005 at 4:15 pm
I finished grad school in EL a few years back and am doing the faculty thing, in a halfhearted way. But I’ve thought about sleeping in my office too. I commute about 50 miles each way.
T said,
September 19, 2005 at 12:16 am
I live in EL and am doing grad school here. I’m shocked and excited that you’re from here; that means I could, potentially, run into you somewhere and chat about bad-Christian-ness.
Brandon said,
September 19, 2005 at 7:13 am
What program, T?
Love to chat, send me an email. We’ll do coffee.
vacheestfachee said,
September 20, 2005 at 2:40 am
Rhetoric and writing. It’s been a fun program.
vacheestfachee said,
September 20, 2005 at 2:41 am
Oops, I just signed up for an account, so ignore the new nick.
CrossLeft said,
October 1, 2005 at 2:37 pm
A few quotes
We do not oppose exposing our children to philosophical and spiritual discussion around the origin and meaning of life. There are appropriate venues for such discussion — but not in the context of teaching science in a public school science classroom.
We