08.29.05
Posted in faith at 3:27 pm by
I’ve been reflecting a bit on being ‘outchurched’. Kristen had a great post up over at McCarty Musings about their ‘first date’ with a new Church. I found it to be timely. It also illustrated something that I think is important to the concept of being ‘outchurched’.
First, though, it might be wise to sort of define our construct a bit. When I say out-churched, I’m meaning an individual who was once a member of the institutional Church, an individual who regularly attended Church and for some reason has stopped attending Church. I’m not talking about people who don’t like their Church, or people who think it’s cool to be ‘on the edge’ so they refer to themselves as ‘outchurched’ even though they’ve not worked up the gumption to actually stop going. I’m talking about people who’ve stopped going to institutional meetings of the Church. They are the out-churched.
What I got to thinking about after Kristen’s post was that she and her husband Micah really did ‘being out-churched’ right. What I mean by this is that they found a community of believers to belong to. They found a place to heal. A place to know and be known. A place to gripe, and a place to care; they found a forum for living. They, it seemed to me, didn’t view their period of being ‘outchurched’ as a destination, but rather it was a passage. (And, if I’m wrong here, Micah or Kristen, just jump right in and correct me.)
When Jen and I took a little break from church, it felt like we really needed time to heal. We were coming off of a bad Church experience and we needed the opportunity to not be surrounded by church folk. And, we had school, and friends, and work to keep us busy. Sundays were for eachother. And, it was a time of passage–we knew that eventually, we’d find a place to commune again. We just needed a break, a time to heal.
You see, I’ve been concerned with something lately. Some folks, at least the way it seems to me, have started talking about being ‘out-churched’ as a destination rather than a passage. Now, some people stop believing in God. I understand that. But, for people who do believe and just choose not to be involved with the people of God, I don’t think that’s the answer, per se. It’s like some people are flaunting the fact that they don’t go to church anymore. It’s as if it’s an emergent ’status symbol’ to be out-churched…as if you can attain some pinnacle of holiness by just NOT being a part of a body of believers. (And, please know that despite my use of the term ‘outchurched’ I’m not talking about the boys at outchurched.com.)
I don’t buy this. I think what gets me about the whole thing is that it feels to me like people that want to be cool will simply not go to Church, and even take some measure of delight in calling themselves ‘out-churched’. Yet, they remain freakishly adherent to the so-called ‘Christain’ sub-culture of the day. I think doing ‘out-churched’ right means being committed to being counter-Christian-sub-cultural. Doing ‘out-churched’ right means being committed to the process of healing and change. If you’re a Christian, I believe that God calls you to be a part of the Church (broadly, that is, I won’t be sucked into an argument of what constitutes ‘a church’ here.) Perhaps you need time to heal, perhaps you need a LONG time to heal–but in the end you’re a part of the Church, like it or not.
I think one of the most valuable things about being ‘out-churched’ is what you bring back with you when you come back to the Church. After a time of healing and contemplation, you take back a renewed vision of life. Perhaps you’ve become counter-Christian-sub-cultural, perhaps you’re more attune to the heart and mind of Christ, perhaps you’ve been renewed. The Church needs the ‘out-churched’. Without them, the Church is screwed.
Thus, my feeling that seeing ‘out-churched’ as an end rather than a means to an end is wrong, I just don’t buy it. But, then again, I could be wrong.
Tags: Outchurched, Emergent Church
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Posted in faith at 3:27 pm by
I’ve been reflecting a bit on being ‘outchurched’. Kristen had a great post up over at McCarty Musings about their ‘first date’ with a new Church. I found it to be timely. It also illustrated something that I think is important to the concept of being ‘outchurched’.
First, though, it might be wise to sort of define our construct a bit. When I say out-churched, I’m meaning an individual who was once a member of the institutional Church, an individual who regularly attended Church and for some reason has stopped attending Church. I’m not talking about people who don’t like their Church, or people who think it’s cool to be ‘on the edge’ so they refer to themselves as ‘outchurched’ even though they’ve not worked up the gumption to actually stop going. I’m talking about people who’ve stopped going to institutional meetings of the Church. They are the out-churched.
What I got to thinking about after Kristen’s post was that she and her husband Micah really did ‘being out-churched’ right. What I mean by this is that they found a community of believers to belong to. They found a place to heal. A place to know and be known. A place to gripe, and a place to care; they found a forum for living. They, it seemed to me, didn’t view their period of being ‘outchurched’ as a destination, but rather it was a passage. (And, if I’m wrong here, Micah or Kristen, just jump right in and correct me.)
When Jen and I took a little break from church, it felt like we really needed time to heal. We were coming off of a bad Church experience and we needed the opportunity to not be surrounded by church folk. And, we had school, and friends, and work to keep us busy. Sundays were for eachother. And, it was a time of passage–we knew that eventually, we’d find a place to commune again. We just needed a break, a time to heal.
You see, I’ve been concerned with something lately. Some folks, at least the way it seems to me, have started talking about being ‘out-churched’ as a destination rather than a passage. Now, some people stop believing in God. I understand that. But, for people who do believe and just choose not to be involved with the people of God, I don’t think that’s the answer, per se. It’s like some people are flaunting the fact that they don’t go to church anymore. It’s as if it’s an emergent ’status symbol’ to be out-churched…as if you can attain some pinnacle of holiness by just NOT being a part of a body of believers. (And, please know that despite my use of the term ‘outchurched’ I’m not talking about the boys at outchurched.com.)
I don’t buy this. I think what gets me about the whole thing is that it feels to me like people that want to be cool will simply not go to Church, and even take some measure of delight in calling themselves ‘out-churched’. Yet, they remain freakishly adherent to the so-called ‘Christain’ sub-culture of the day. I think doing ‘out-churched’ right means being committed to being counter-Christian-sub-cultural. Doing ‘out-churched’ right means being committed to the process of healing and change. If you’re a Christian, I believe that God calls you to be a part of the Church (broadly, that is, I won’t be sucked into an argument of what constitutes ‘a church’ here.) Perhaps you need time to heal, perhaps you need a LONG time to heal–but in the end you’re a part of the Church, like it or not.
I think one of the most valuable things about being ‘out-churched’ is what you bring back with you when you come back to the Church. After a time of healing and contemplation, you take back a renewed vision of life. Perhaps you’ve become counter-Christian-sub-cultural, perhaps you’re more attune to the heart and mind of Christ, perhaps you’ve been renewed. The Church needs the ‘out-churched’. Without them, the Church is screwed.
Thus, my feeling that seeing ‘out-churched’ as an end rather than a means to an end is wrong, I just don’t buy it. But, then again, I could be wrong.
Tags: Outchurched, Emergent Church
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Trackback URL »
http://www.badchristian.com/2005/08/29/being_outchurched/trackback/
Wounded Healer said,
August 29, 2005 at 4:01 pm
I agree with the idea of what you bring back to the church when you have been “outchurched”. I actually did this from the perspective of having been a pastor and then getting some healing and having some contemplation. There is no doubt that what I brought back was more valuable having had the “outchurched” experience than if I would have stayed. I was way too angry and “sore”. Great discussion and I am looking forward to reading comments.
eddieO said,
August 29, 2005 at 4:24 pm
hey brandon, i really do enjoy your blog, respect your opinion and based on this post, i would sincerely like to know what you think the point and purpose of the church is?
eddieO
This Girl said,
August 29, 2005 at 5:15 pm
Out-churched, huh? I didn’t know there was a name for needing a break from church. I’ve personally felt lazy. We left our church because we couldn’t drive for an hour every sunday at 8am when our weekly work schedules (a night schedule) had us in bed at the earliest 4am. We kept our schedule for 2 years (my husband was on the worship team, which was why it was so early). We were so exhausted by the time we believed God told us to leave our church we were grateful for the break. We were trying churches by their evening services and going to one particular church out of convenience, not out of actually feeling accepted or liked by the people. We have had a really hard time finding a church that offers us the haven our old church did. We know we were supposed to leave, and we are enjoying the rest, but I feel the “nagging” to be back in church alot stronger than my husband. Thank you for your post. It gives me a perspective guilt and tradition wouldn’t let me have. My husband loves God and I know I can trust him to make the right decisions for our family and if he needs this rest, I will try not to “nag” him.
Angel said,
August 29, 2005 at 8:08 pm
Very deep thoughts, I never knew it had a name until now. We left our first church soon after getting a diagnosis of CFS. At first it was due to me physically not being able to attend church–but no one seemed to know or care I was missing (after being VERY active in the church). Then a few cold shoulders, a few “your money is important to us” type letters and I flat out refused to go back.
Our current church is MUCH more accepting of me, illnesses and all. And for the first time in a LONG time, I’m back in choir, so it’s a start
ryan king said,
August 29, 2005 at 10:17 pm
This Girl, Angel-
I’m glad you like the name. Though I didn’t invent the term, I’m glad to see that outchurched.com has affected people, by, at the very least, giving us a term to talk about our situations.
Kristen M said,
August 31, 2005 at 8:00 am
Brandon, I’m glad you liked the post. These last few years for us have been pretty unsettled. Reading this and your other posts on church makes me feel like perhaps I should type up a post on exactly why we needed to be out for a while. If I can do that without sounding totally critical. Sigh. Anyhow, we’ve loved reading about your own thoughts and experiences with the church.
ox said,
September 15, 2005 at 12:08 am
Here are my musings about being “outchurched”.
www.singingfalls.com/pilgrimage/index.html
especially: http://www.singingfalls.com/pilgrimage/pg9.html
http://www.singingfalls.com/waterfall_1.html
http://www.singingfalls.com/waterfall_2.html
http://www.singingfalls.com/waterfalls_3.html
http://livingfaithisacult.blogspot.com/ said,
September 15, 2005 at 1:52 am
there are many good reasons to leave the church, thoe you might need to cut your self off just to see the reasons
jeff m said,
October 14, 2005 at 10:44 pm
I like to look at old posts. Brandon hit on some very personal points to me. During a recent time, my church felt distant and disonnected, but the small groups I met with (and still do) continued to be great to go to,especially in the area of being real and transparent with each other. After a time church became vital again.
This is a Biblical idea, found in Rm 16:5, 1 Co 16:19, Col 4:15, and demonstrated throughout Acts.