06.27.05
Posted in life at 8:51 am by
This piece was posted in two distinct places. One was the Christian Worldview Network, another was a blog that I happened across: Slice of Laodicea.
I’m going to try very hard not to be disparaging, here. But here’s the article, my thoughts interspersed.
The cameras were rolling, the distraught parents were sobbing in front of microphones and a prayer vigil was set up in the local Baptist church. Natalee Holloway, an 18-year-old high school graduate from Alabama, had gone missing May 30th while on a trip to Aruba with over 100 other partying high school seniors. As I write, she remains missing while several men are investigated for their possible role in Natalee’s disappearance.
Amid the emotion, blogger speculation and celebrity-style media coverage, a critical factor in the disappearance of this teenager has been ignored. What in the world was an 18-year-old girl doing in a nightclub at 2:00 in the morning, on a Caribbean island, consorting with strange men? What does it say that in all of the hours of media coverage and exhortations to, “pray for Natalee”, so little has been said about the scandalous state of fatherhood in our land that allowed this girl to be in such a terribly risky situation in the first place?
A young girl’s first line of defense is her parents, namely her father. God set up a father’s headship as a protection against the dangers of a world that preys on beauty and innocence. The daughter of a loving father is the beneficiary of a precious oversight that keeps her from the very real threats that menace her purity and safety. But America has thrown out God’s headship and authority in the biblical model of the family. Much of the church has, as well. Natalee is the unfortunate heir to a legacy of bitterness and death called feminism. Feminism laughs at the notion of loving headship. Feminism declares that females can take care of themselves, that they have need of nothing and that the very notion of innocence and purity is laughably archaic. Effeminized fathers go right along with this notion now, sending their daughters off to war in Iraq while their sons win football scholarships and sending their teen-age daughters off to Caribbean islands to party all night with strange men.
The author, here, is assuming a lot of things about the situation. Namely, that Natalee was with people with whom she was unfarmiliar, that Natalee was consorting with strange men, etc. Truth is, the writer hasn’t really a clue of the situation. That said, the comments she makes in this case seem hurtful and heartless at best.
Further, the attack here on feminism belies a fundamental misunderstanding of the movement. By decrying modern fathers as ineffective because of their ‘effeminate’ nature, the writer derogates all women. Her argument is that men behave like women are weaker. Beyond that, though, she goes on to blame feminism–to blame women–for this deficiency in Men (i.e. “Natalee is the unfortunate heir to a legacy of bitterness and death called feminism. Feminism laughs at the notion of loving headship.”)
Where are the pastors of the land to raise the question about fatherhood today? A pastor from Natalee’s hometown was seen tearfully announcing a prayer vigil on her behalf. Where was this pastor when the senior class at the local high school chose Aruba due to its low drinking age? How many students from his own church youth group were on the trip? Pastors, like fathers, have allowed themselves to be reduced to the role of a Greek chorus; weeping, and wailing and making red-eye appearances on CNN when their daughters and church kids go missing.
The fathers of America need a wake-up call and if Natalee’s disappearance and likely murder doesn’t do it, nothing will. Daughters need their fathers to stand in the gap. Daughters need a strong father to say, “no!” when necessary. Also, young people need to start submitting to parental authority. Our nation is facing tragedy time and time again because people have rejected the life-giving and life-saving truths of God’s Word. Natalee Holloway’s sad story is testimony to that.
Now, I’m all for fathers becoming more involved with the American family. Frankly, our writer is correct. The fathers of America need a wake-up call. Absolutely. But, they don’t need a wakeup call because they’re effeminate, or because feminism has ruined fatherhood. Fathers need a wakeup call because our culture tells them it’s okay for men to be detached. Our culture tells men that it’s good to be strong, to be the ruling voice of power in a family. In fact, I would argue that it’s just the vision of fatherhood the author praises that’s gotten us to where we’re at.
Fathers need to become more loving, caring, and nuturing. Fathers need to respect and love their family–wives, children, etc–as equals. As members of a unit.
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Posted in life at 8:51 am by
This piece was posted in two distinct places. One was the Christian Worldview Network, another was a blog that I happened across: Slice of Laodicea.
I’m going to try very hard not to be disparaging, here. But here’s the article, my thoughts interspersed.
The cameras were rolling, the distraught parents were sobbing in front of microphones and a prayer vigil was set up in the local Baptist church. Natalee Holloway, an 18-year-old high school graduate from Alabama, had gone missing May 30th while on a trip to Aruba with over 100 other partying high school seniors. As I write, she remains missing while several men are investigated for their possible role in Natalee’s disappearance.
Amid the emotion, blogger speculation and celebrity-style media coverage, a critical factor in the disappearance of this teenager has been ignored. What in the world was an 18-year-old girl doing in a nightclub at 2:00 in the morning, on a Caribbean island, consorting with strange men? What does it say that in all of the hours of media coverage and exhortations to, “pray for Natalee”, so little has been said about the scandalous state of fatherhood in our land that allowed this girl to be in such a terribly risky situation in the first place?
A young girl’s first line of defense is her parents, namely her father. God set up a father’s headship as a protection against the dangers of a world that preys on beauty and innocence. The daughter of a loving father is the beneficiary of a precious oversight that keeps her from the very real threats that menace her purity and safety. But America has thrown out God’s headship and authority in the biblical model of the family. Much of the church has, as well. Natalee is the unfortunate heir to a legacy of bitterness and death called feminism. Feminism laughs at the notion of loving headship. Feminism declares that females can take care of themselves, that they have need of nothing and that the very notion of innocence and purity is laughably archaic. Effeminized fathers go right along with this notion now, sending their daughters off to war in Iraq while their sons win football scholarships and sending their teen-age daughters off to Caribbean islands to party all night with strange men.
The author, here, is assuming a lot of things about the situation. Namely, that Natalee was with people with whom she was unfarmiliar, that Natalee was consorting with strange men, etc. Truth is, the writer hasn’t really a clue of the situation. That said, the comments she makes in this case seem hurtful and heartless at best.
Further, the attack here on feminism belies a fundamental misunderstanding of the movement. By decrying modern fathers as ineffective because of their ‘effeminate’ nature, the writer derogates all women. Her argument is that men behave like women are weaker. Beyond that, though, she goes on to blame feminism–to blame women–for this deficiency in Men (i.e. “Natalee is the unfortunate heir to a legacy of bitterness and death called feminism. Feminism laughs at the notion of loving headship.”)
Where are the pastors of the land to raise the question about fatherhood today? A pastor from Natalee’s hometown was seen tearfully announcing a prayer vigil on her behalf. Where was this pastor when the senior class at the local high school chose Aruba due to its low drinking age? How many students from his own church youth group were on the trip? Pastors, like fathers, have allowed themselves to be reduced to the role of a Greek chorus; weeping, and wailing and making red-eye appearances on CNN when their daughters and church kids go missing.
The fathers of America need a wake-up call and if Natalee’s disappearance and likely murder doesn’t do it, nothing will. Daughters need their fathers to stand in the gap. Daughters need a strong father to say, “no!” when necessary. Also, young people need to start submitting to parental authority. Our nation is facing tragedy time and time again because people have rejected the life-giving and life-saving truths of God’s Word. Natalee Holloway’s sad story is testimony to that.
Now, I’m all for fathers becoming more involved with the American family. Frankly, our writer is correct. The fathers of America need a wake-up call. Absolutely. But, they don’t need a wakeup call because they’re effeminate, or because feminism has ruined fatherhood. Fathers need a wakeup call because our culture tells them it’s okay for men to be detached. Our culture tells men that it’s good to be strong, to be the ruling voice of power in a family. In fact, I would argue that it’s just the vision of fatherhood the author praises that’s gotten us to where we’re at.
Fathers need to become more loving, caring, and nuturing. Fathers need to respect and love their family–wives, children, etc–as equals. As members of a unit.
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Kirala said,
June 27, 2005 at 9:48 am
“Feminism laughs at the notion of loving headship,” because of course feminism is really anarchism under another guise. Bah.
The article neglects to mention the mother’s role, I notice. Even in the “father knows best” homes, usually the mother knows most, and is most involved with daily decisions. But that’s almost irrelevant. Both parents are badly needed to be involved with their kids, and if American fatherhood has a crisis, it’s one of absence, not permissiveness.
Brandon, I don’t think parents ought to treat their kids as equals - not until they’re out on their own, anyway - but I agree that love is key. Of course, if love doesn’t occasionally manifest itself with authority (”no, you CAN’T do crack in my house, and it’s not because I hate you”) it’s almost useless… but I don’t think these people need to hear anything of that sort.
Brandon said,
June 27, 2005 at 9:58 am
True, True, Kirala. I don’t really think Children should be treated as equals–though in the case of this girl at 18 years old it should be close.
I was merely trying to escape from the gaff I nearly caught myself in inferring that a Father HAD to have a mother in order to be a good father. I’m sure there are lots of good single fathers out there, and I don’t want to be accused of saying that a single father without a mother must be a failure…there’s nothing further from the truth, in my opinion.
However, I agree, children are not equals of their parents…in fact, much danger exists in such parenting.
Of course, the irony is that many parents are equals of their children–they’re older but just as childish.
Streak said,
June 27, 2005 at 12:09 pm
What would this writer say if the missing person was a young man? Would the same issues apply? Would feminism still be to blame? Feminism is more often misrepresented by the rr than just about anything.
K said,
June 27, 2005 at 3:50 pm
I will in no way argue against the claims made, but I will have to agree more with Kirala. There is more to parenting than just a strong father figure, and it is more important to simply focus on being an involved parent, regardless of what clothing department you shop in.
I think we could even take a step back and look at the bigger problem, being television, public schools, and the non-parenting that has now been engraved as a generation-deep custom. At first it could have been seen as an atrocity, but with our nation’s short attention span it has already blossomed into “We always watched television for 5 hours at night!”
Aside from the horrible state of the family unit, (though I would never argue that it used to be perfect… it has always been lacking, but it seems to be only getting worse… exponentially), there is a separate argument that I would scream against the national media and the way that they find thier posterchild of hope around which to dramatize a single crime and convince the general public that the big anonymous monsters out there really DO care about us. I’m sure it’s only coincidence that the entire country has been focused on a disappearance of an 18 year old white girl, yet the thousands of others that go missing (and the millions that go un(der)fed) are overlooked. This is nothing new, thought, and most likely a waste of my time writing.
Good articles and good arguments.
Brandon said,
June 27, 2005 at 4:34 pm
I think, K, that I’m a bit more reticent to pin the offending parties down to public schools or television. I’m not entirely convinced by the popular mass communication theory of cultivation that states that people will adopt the values they see on T.V.
Likewise, I think in a lot of cases THE problem with public education IS parenting rather than the other way around.
I agree, though, that changing or reforming fatherhood won’t likely be THE catalyst for all of our parenting problems. As much as we like to blame fathers for things (and as much as many of those fathers deserve that blame…) they’re just not the lynchpin.
catholic_girl said,
June 28, 2005 at 12:12 am
Who is this person? Does s/he know the family or is s/he just going on what s/he saw on Fox News? Nothing I have read about this case (and I have covered it a bit as a freelance travel journalist) implies that the parents thought their daughter would be in nightclubs with strange men at 2 a.m. Most unofficial high school graduation trips come with heavy supervision. I’d say this is by far the exception, not the rule, and that young women are far more at risk when they head to Cancun for spring break in college. Bad things happen sometimes. Even to pretty white girls. Oh, wait, CNN made sure we knew that.
I was raised by good, loving, involved parents who made mistakes but did their best. And you know what? If I had gone to Aruba when I was 18, I probably would have done some stupid shit. As I recall, I did some stupid shit when I went to France at that age, in fact. And yes, the low drinking age did factor into my travel plans. My parents had to sign a permission slip saying I could drink. They did so — maybe they trusted me more than they should have. But I was lucky, and we were pretty well supervised. Not everyone is. Sometimes evil gets past good intentions. It happens. It is in no way the fault of NOW.
Speaking of which, I think I’ll go give them a donation just because this writer is such a fuckwit. I wonder if I can make it in his/her honor…
meg said,
June 29, 2005 at 7:45 pm
Oh thank God Almighty I was out of the country when this shit hit the fan. I may not know much yet about pastoral care but I’ve done my homework of women’s issues like domestic violence and rule #1 is: never blame the victim which, in this case, includes not only Natalee Holloway but also her grieving parents.
Thanks for your insightful analysis. The blatent overgeneralizations based on ignorance of feminism needed to be addressed and you did so quite artfully.
Stupid people make my brain and my heart hurt.
RGMB said,
July 5, 2005 at 3:35 pm
The author sounds more like a Taliban official than a loving child of G-d.
It’s that kind of misogynist hogwash that helped drive me away from the church and all types of fundamentalist leanings.
Why didn’t the author ask, since he’s so hell-bent on blaming fathers (through feminism,ha) where the father was when he raised the psychopath who probably killed Natalie? Chances are the killer was raised with the same views of women as the author of this article. In any regard, there some men go again blaming the victim.
I do, however, have a problem with the chaperoning of this trip. The fact that Natalie was female is only relevant in that woman are targets of foul-play much more frequently than men. My question is WHERE were the chaperones? This was a trip involving 18 year olds; their whereabouts should have been noted at all times. Otherwise, why even bother? Anyway, that was my question from the start.