03.17.05
Posted in fun at 11:39 am by
CAT HAIKU
The food in my bowl
Is old, and more to the point
Contains no tuna.
So you want to play.
Will I claw at dancing string?
Your ankle’s closer.
There’s no dignity
In being sick - which is why
I don’t tell you where.
Seeking solitude
I am locked in the closet.
For once I need you.
Tiny can, dumped in
Plastic bowl. Presentation
One star; service: none.
Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backwards:
This pillow’s taken.
Your mouth is moving;
Up and down, emitting noise.
I’ve lost interest.
The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.
My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?
Most problems can be
Ignored. The more difficult
Ones can be slept through.
My affection is conditional.
Don’t stand up,
It’s your lap I love
Cats can’t steal the breath
Of children. But if my tail’s
Pulled again, I’ll learn.
I don’t mind being
Teased, any more than you mind
A skin graft or two.
So you call this thing
Your “cat carrier.” I call
These my “blades of death.”
Toy mice, dancing yarn
Meowing sounds. I’m convinced:
You’re an idiot.
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Posted in fun at 11:39 am by
CAT HAIKU
The food in my bowl
Is old, and more to the point
Contains no tuna.
So you want to play.
Will I claw at dancing string?
Your ankle’s closer.
There’s no dignity
In being sick - which is why
I don’t tell you where.
Seeking solitude
I am locked in the closet.
For once I need you.
Tiny can, dumped in
Plastic bowl. Presentation
One star; service: none.
Am I in your way?
You seem to have it backwards:
This pillow’s taken.
Your mouth is moving;
Up and down, emitting noise.
I’ve lost interest.
The dog wags his tail,
Seeking approval. See mine?
Different message.
My brain: walnut-sized.
Yours: largest among primates.
Yet, who leaves for work?
Most problems can be
Ignored. The more difficult
Ones can be slept through.
My affection is conditional.
Don’t stand up,
It’s your lap I love
Cats can’t steal the breath
Of children. But if my tail’s
Pulled again, I’ll learn.
I don’t mind being
Teased, any more than you mind
A skin graft or two.
So you call this thing
Your “cat carrier.” I call
These my “blades of death.”
Toy mice, dancing yarn
Meowing sounds. I’m convinced:
You’re an idiot.
Permalink
Trackback URL »
http://www.badchristian.com/2005/03/17/kitty_haiku/trackback/
zalm said,
March 17, 2005 at 1:06 pm
woohoo! we’ll have to add these beauties to the set of kitty haiku on our fridge. i’ll try to play later, but there’s no way in hell i write haiku before the coffee kicks in. senryu, maybe, but not haiku.
but of the ones we we have on the fridge, these most describe our two felines:
in deep sleep hear sound
cat vomit hairball somewhere
will find in morning
i want to be close
to you. can i fit my head
inside your armpit?
grace personified,
i leap into the window.
i meant to do that.
and the one that has become my favorite now that i’ve spent the last month writing on my own site:
you’re always typing.
well, let’s see you ignore my
sitting on your hands.
ninjanun said,
March 18, 2005 at 2:35 pm
Oh, those are awesome. I was laughing out loud, and then my cat demanded my lap.
Jonni Fevar said,
July 6, 2006 at 10:37 pm
purrfect match inflamed
kitty now knows boundaries
Lysol scorched tabby
no well done kitty
pussy arms herself attack!
pyrrhic victory?
what’s burning? Ann asked
tabby’s smoldering glare fades
contumacious cat