02.28.05
Posted in grad school at 11:43 am by
Being a graduate student isn’t good for your self-esteem. Really, if you aren’t interested in getting your ass reamed time and time again, academics is probably not the right field for you.
I had a meeting last Friday with my advisor to talk over the first draft of my thesis. I’m pretty sure she thought it sucked. She’s a big believer in the process of writing one’s thesis. I think she holds that everyone NEEDS to be taken down a few notches every once and a while. She did that to me on Friday.
Now, I’m actually glad that she’s running me through the ringer on this thesis project. I really want to learn, really I do! I just had no idea how cruel the process of being an academic is. It’s really no wonder that so many academics end up sad, deflated, cynical, and lonely.
One thing’s for sure though, I have a new-found respect for people with their Ph.D.’s. At least those who hold a doctorate in the social sciences. It’s a harsh life out there.
Never fear though, I’m not about to give up, or stop being a student. I’m not even going to stop writing my blog. This is really just a very good reminder that I’m human–not some cyborg that can rattle off social science theoretical perspectives like it’s going out of style.
It turns out that I’m human, very human, and like it does for everybody else, being human sucks every now and again. So, here’s my question. Are there any current professors, or doctoral students out there who’ve seen their way through a viscious thesis project that can offer any light at the end of the tunnel? It’d be nice to know that at least one of you made it.
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Posted in grad school at 11:43 am by
Being a graduate student isn’t good for your self-esteem. Really, if you aren’t interested in getting your ass reamed time and time again, academics is probably not the right field for you.
I had a meeting last Friday with my advisor to talk over the first draft of my thesis. I’m pretty sure she thought it sucked. She’s a big believer in the process of writing one’s thesis. I think she holds that everyone NEEDS to be taken down a few notches every once and a while. She did that to me on Friday.
Now, I’m actually glad that she’s running me through the ringer on this thesis project. I really want to learn, really I do! I just had no idea how cruel the process of being an academic is. It’s really no wonder that so many academics end up sad, deflated, cynical, and lonely.
One thing’s for sure though, I have a new-found respect for people with their Ph.D.’s. At least those who hold a doctorate in the social sciences. It’s a harsh life out there.
Never fear though, I’m not about to give up, or stop being a student. I’m not even going to stop writing my blog. This is really just a very good reminder that I’m human–not some cyborg that can rattle off social science theoretical perspectives like it’s going out of style.
It turns out that I’m human, very human, and like it does for everybody else, being human sucks every now and again. So, here’s my question. Are there any current professors, or doctoral students out there who’ve seen their way through a viscious thesis project that can offer any light at the end of the tunnel? It’d be nice to know that at least one of you made it.
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jenell said,
February 28, 2005 at 12:58 pm
During my first semester of grad school, I asked one of my undergrad profs (Christian college) about why the profs were so critical and unaffirming. He said, “If they don’t kick you out, that means you’re doing fine.” He said not to expect the kind of praise and affirmation that profs give to undergrads. And indeed, I didn’t get all the affirmation that I needed, but I did get a PhD and got out of there!
I’m working on a number of writing projects simultaneously, and receive rejection letters almost daily. The rejection never ends, but it’s no longer motivated by ‘taking the student down a notch’, or the pseudo-hazing that academics do before they let a new person into their ranks. Now, my writing gets criticized and rejected so it can become better - I don’t mind that so much.
So buck up and take it for a few more years! Hopefully you’ll find ways to use the critique to become a better thinker and writer. And don’t become so embittered that you turn around and do it to others.
(I’m a professor of anthropology, PhD from American University in anthro).
Brandon said,
February 28, 2005 at 1:25 pm
Thanks Jenell! I appreciate the advice and encouragement. I don’t think I seriously will ever entertain thoughts of giving up…but, somedays, it’s more appealing than others.
Grad said,
February 28, 2005 at 6:51 pm
I’m not sure I “count” because I’m not finished yet either, but I know exactly where you’re coming from. A PhD at my church reminded me this weekend: all you really need is a draft. Then you can get the help you need to make it mean the things you want it to.
Thanks for your blog–it’s great to know someone else thinks like I do.
Nicole said,
February 28, 2005 at 11:49 pm
You really shouldn’t post things like that when I just had my doctoral program interview. It’s interesting what some of my professors have said about the dissertation process. (I’m a master’s student currently.)
One of my profs said that I didn’t have anything to worry about unless I was intent on making my dissertation my magnum opus, which is a silly thing to do before you’re thirty.
Another said to find another colleague, do something insanely practical, graduate, and then get on to the living of life.
My other prof, with histrionic leanings, gave a 20 minute diatribe about his dissertation, complete with flowery phrases and sophomoric idealization.
From what I know of these three in their personal lives, I’d rather live the life of the first two and read the books written by the third one.
H. Kent Craig said,
March 1, 2005 at 2:57 am
I’m not a grad student, but I am a writer who gets paid every month to write professionally and have been an Associate Editor of a national magazine in the past, and let me let you in on one of the oldest tricks in the publishing profession: for newbies, and even for oldies occasionally, while always following The Golden Rule of course, just rip what they do to shreds, in an honest fashion of course, just to see their reactions.
If they’re newbies, you’ll find out in 2 second if they are prima donnas and aren’t worth further work with, or if they are old hands you’ll find out if they’ve developed any peculiarities you should know about.
As long as everything you say is the truth, this is a fair method of distilling away ego to get to the truth of a writer (or grad student). Might not be pleasant, but it is fair. Don’t take your new anal opening ripping procedure personally, because it probably wasn’t.
mainsheet42 said,
March 1, 2005 at 5:33 pm
I have this Quantum Theory of graduate school. Basically, there’s some Maxwellian demon out there who counts the kind and level of abuse you get. And you can’t get your degree until you’ve collected enough abuse.
So, you just got hit with a few quanta of ultraviolet abuse. Relax, have a homebrew and get on with revision.
Slightly more seriously, some professors enjoy shredding other people’s writing. I think it’s partly a revenge on the succeeding generation thing. If you’ve got an advisor who’s like that, you have two choices: suck it up and soldier, or drop out. But even if you have an advisor who’s like that, they’re not supposed to be like Democrats who eat their young …
Audrey
shupac said,
March 26, 2005 at 10:18 am
Almost 6 yrs ago to the day, I had my pre-diss exam while I was in the doctoral program in English at Michigan State. My director was always quite interested in and supportive of my work, which tended to substitute theology in place of literary theory, but the rest of my committee was severely confused by it, and deeply critical of my approach. They dredged up questions and concerns I never could have imagined, and demanded I read a bunch of things that seemed irrelevant to me. I got the go-ahead, but left the pre-diss exam deeply depressed and assuming I’d probably never get out of the program with a degree. But nearly 3 years later, I did, despite ignoring much of the advice I got that day. Though a good portion of my defense was spent explaining why…
Hang in there. Try to get committee members that mentally balanced and not engaged in some kind of intradepartmental feuds–this was the first piece of advice my director gave me, and it was dead on. I saw several cases of students being used as pawns in some pathetic quarrel between faculty, or where people got held up because of some idiosyncratic and opaque objection of one committee member.
Good luck. And believe in your work, even when no one else seems to.