12.07.04
Posted in culture at 11:28 pm by
No, I’m not talking about being mad at God. That’s another post. I’m talking about being mad at my church. I’m also not talking about being mad and having that mad-ness take place AT the physical location ‘church.’ I’m talking about being mad at the whole organization, or at least the people in it.
David Wilcox has the marvelous ablility to make one just think. That I did while I sat at the concert this past weekend. I really would be hardpressed to tell you what the song he sang was, but something hit me while he sang it. I haven’t REALLY let myself get mad at the people at our–and I’ll just say it–old church. You all remember, the same old church that we thought, “We’ll give it a try” to a month ago.
So, you know what? I’m mad. No, I’m fuckin’ pissed. Not so much that no one there really cared to give me the decency of acknowlegement, but I’m mad that they go on in mediocrity and don’t even know that there’s a fucking problem when time after time families are telling them that there in fact is a problem.
You see, my old church was a mega-church. Now, some out there would tell me that a church of 300 regular attenders can’t be a mega-church. I say you’re wrong. A year and a half ago, I wouldn’t have believed it either. But, now it’s apparent. We’ve gotten to know a total of 10 of those people in our church.
It’s not that we haven’t tried. We got involved, did everything we were supposed to do. But, at the end of the day, we know 10 other people after a year and a half, in a church of 300. If that’s not piss poor, I don’t know what is. The core church-goers don’t really even know eachother–though, they talk a good show.
I don’t think it can be blamed on any one person. I think the biggest issue, more than any other, is that this church is satisfied with only the most cursory of relationships. That’s created a church that will rot at the core. That combined with a real lack of administration at EVERY level makes for a disaster waiting to happen.
I truly am committed to the concept of a real live church community. I just really need to see one in practice. Hopefully someday. Soon.
Oh, thanks all, for letting me just be mad for once.
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Posted in culture at 11:28 pm by
No, I’m not talking about being mad at God. That’s another post. I’m talking about being mad at my church. I’m also not talking about being mad and having that mad-ness take place AT the physical location ‘church.’ I’m talking about being mad at the whole organization, or at least the people in it.
David Wilcox has the marvelous ablility to make one just think. That I did while I sat at the concert this past weekend. I really would be hardpressed to tell you what the song he sang was, but something hit me while he sang it. I haven’t REALLY let myself get mad at the people at our–and I’ll just say it–old church. You all remember, the same old church that we thought, “We’ll give it a try” to a month ago.
So, you know what? I’m mad. No, I’m fuckin’ pissed. Not so much that no one there really cared to give me the decency of acknowlegement, but I’m mad that they go on in mediocrity and don’t even know that there’s a fucking problem when time after time families are telling them that there in fact is a problem.
You see, my old church was a mega-church. Now, some out there would tell me that a church of 300 regular attenders can’t be a mega-church. I say you’re wrong. A year and a half ago, I wouldn’t have believed it either. But, now it’s apparent. We’ve gotten to know a total of 10 of those people in our church.
It’s not that we haven’t tried. We got involved, did everything we were supposed to do. But, at the end of the day, we know 10 other people after a year and a half, in a church of 300. If that’s not piss poor, I don’t know what is. The core church-goers don’t really even know eachother–though, they talk a good show.
I don’t think it can be blamed on any one person. I think the biggest issue, more than any other, is that this church is satisfied with only the most cursory of relationships. That’s created a church that will rot at the core. That combined with a real lack of administration at EVERY level makes for a disaster waiting to happen.
I truly am committed to the concept of a real live church community. I just really need to see one in practice. Hopefully someday. Soon.
Oh, thanks all, for letting me just be mad for once.
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Just Pat said,
December 7, 2004 at 11:45 pm
We make our own community, Brandon. I love my fellowship, and my pastor provides a good, sound rudder for my course. But, I hardly see folks from church on any day other than Sunday. Most of my life is lived amidst people who may or may not affirm my faith or efforts. These people are my unlikely community.
I know I’m not saying anything you haven’t heard of or though of before. I also know separation from a church is crushing, even if it’s a good break. As part of your unlikely community, please receive my support. I’m praying for you and Jen.
Marc said,
December 8, 2004 at 8:26 am
Brandon, I am a new subscriber to your blog and find your comments and position refreshingly familiar. I too am mad. I gave up on “church” several years ago in frustration. I once thought that “cell” groups would save the church by providing an entry for those who aren’t members of the club, but I no longer thing so. I have come to believe now that any “church” with a congregation of more than 25 members is too large. However, 25 congregants cannot support much of an infrastructure or finance a reasonable salary of ministerial services. What to do?
wanderer said,
December 9, 2004 at 5:29 pm
We left a budding mega church several years ago. It was a good church. Good Pastor. Good people.
It was however too big. It was bad when you saw certain fellow church goers outside of church more than you saw them actually at the church because of its size. If your own mother attended the early service and you went to the 11 pm service neither one of you would know the other had even been there.
It was time to call it quits. We dropped out of church going for about three years after that.
wanderer
Timi said,
December 9, 2004 at 10:28 pm
“I truly am committed to the concept of a real live church community. I just really need to see one in practice. Hopefully someday. Soon.”
I can totally relate to your anger. I am not a fan of mega-churches or churches with congregations so large that everything is foreign folks who visit. I visited a mega-church in Detroit once and the pastor had a bodyguard. Not only did the pastor have a bodyguard, but he was ushered out of the sanctuary as if he was George W. or something. The most disturbing part was that the folks in his congregation were ok with that. They didn’t mingle amongst one another either. I never want to be a member of that kind of church.
just stopping by said,
December 13, 2004 at 8:58 pm
The only problem with being mad at the church? We are the church.
Brandon said,
December 13, 2004 at 10:47 pm
Honestly, just stopping by, I really don’t know what you mean. So, people in the Church can’t hurt others in the Church?
I understand that we’re all part of the Church. But it’s entirely possible that I don’t feel part of my church. All Church members aren’t church members. (Big C little c.)
In my case at my old church. I am part of the Church, but I’m not part of the church there. Big difference, my friend.
franklin said,
January 16, 2005 at 3:04 pm
there are times when people are to focused on the answer to look to see if the right question is being asked. the question i had to a answer for myself, after being told to leave a church because of asking questions, was am i bad at being a follower of jesus or am i bad at being a follower of organized religious churches?
i am very satisified with my answer.
it has not been necessary for me to take part or go along with any religious organization for over ten years.
Lynn said,
September 15, 2006 at 2:03 pm
This is really weird….I am also a PK, and googled “being mad at church.” Your thoughts are EXACTLY mine…I had been looking for a type of ‘community’ and went to a home mission church, became a charter member, played piano, had my kids confirmed, etc. and came out of it with exactly No ONE. I have not been there in two years and no one , not a soul, not even the pastor has called!!! Fuck them! It’s not that I am a wallflower or over bearing…I’m a friggin social worker. I did get upset when a parishioner told me that the people I work with should be “shot.” I am very frustrated and am concerned that I cannot meet non-pious Christians. I know, I know that the church is FOR the non-perfect sinners…I am just content to let Jesus be with them!
Mike said,
September 19, 2006 at 1:16 am
I have been involved in church leadership (in both a staff and lay leadership capacity). I am becoming growingly frustrated with the American church. More specifically with our overemphasis and naive thinking that if we have the right syle of music we will reach our community. I belive that contemporary style music is essential, but just having good sounding music will not keep people, will not nurture and mature them in the knowledge of God and self.
What makes us think that poeple can only be reached by music?! How many people would be willing to overlook a service that is not full of professional musicians if they are being served and touched through our acts of service and compassion. Am I being naive when I say that I suspect that if I feed a person who is hungry that they would likely be more impressed with that act of compassion than being repelled by a praise band that is not completely professional sounding.
And what are we teaching our new believers anyway? If you don’t like the style of music at church you can go to another church whose music you like. We call those who lead the singing as the worship leaders. Why not call those who work in the nursery, clean the toilets, teach our youth worship leaders. Is their ministry any less an act of worship than those who are leading us in singing.
In our effort to reach our culture with contemporay means I can’t help but wonder if perhaps our churches are being influenced by culture we are supposed to be transforming. The result… we are raising up a generation of Biblically ignorant believers, who are self-centered expecting to be entertained by the latest Christian “worship” music and sermon that will make you feel good but leave you ignorant about God and self