10.31.04
Posted in philosophy at 9:01 pm by
We spent the weekend with my Dad and Mom. We had a truly wonderful time. We let them just take care of us, make coffee for us when we needed coffee, paid for dinner, drove us around; it was wonderful. Jen and I needed a chance to reconnect.
It was nice to reconnect to my parents too. My dad especially. My dad is an interesting man. He’s a postmodern pastor of a stalwertly modern church. He’s also one of the wisest men I know. We agree on lots of things and disagree on lots as well. I love him. He really makes me think.
We talked today over lunch. We had a leg of lamb, garlic mashed potatoes, and a wonderful pinot noir from a local vineyard. We talked church. The topic drifted to homosexuality. I hate when it does that. I’m always uncomfortable when I get to the homosexuality topic. I really don’t like it because I don’t really have a position.
So often when we debate about that topic, we go back and forth on the issue. Both sides have such a firm Biblical position. I just don’t understand the Bible on the issue. I was actually pleased to hear that my dad, like I, is also uncertain. I told them, that they might not like it, but I just couldn’t in good conscience take a position about homosexual relationships in the church one way or the other. The only position I have is that I’m called to love God and my neighbor.
It was encouraging to me the response I got from my Mom and Dad. They’re conservative–in most of the popular senses of the word. But they loved me and didn’t degrade my position. In fact, my parents probably would fall conservatively on most issues that I can think of: literal six day creation, homosexual relationships, women in office of the Church, salvation issues (predestination, etc). But despite all of that, we never seem to have a knock down drag out fight.
I think it’s because I love my Dad first, and disagree with him second. He does the same to me. We don’t always do that so well in the online community. We’re so bent on arguing that we’re quick disagree. Perhaps if Christ said the first and greatest commandment is to love God and the second is to set your neighbor straight, then, maybe we’d be doing the right thing.
I’m guilty of this too, of course, you all know this if you’ve seen me in electronic action. I don’t claim not to be a hypocrite.
Perhaps, too, my Dad and I have something in common. We’ve got a mindset…that mindset that perhaps our two seemingly irreconcilable views aren’t really irreconcilable at all. Maybe they just seem irreconcilable because neither of us have big enough minds to understand how they reconcile. But that’s the magic of postmodernism, one understanding of it at least. We don’t need to understand HOW views can both be accurate (though imperfect) descriptors, we just need to believe that those views can help us to decrease the overall fuzziness of the puzzle.
I don’t have all the answers. I only hope to find a few more of those answers out as time goes on, but I’ll never get anywhere close to having all the answers. When it comes down to it, though, I think that one of the answers to one of the big questions is love.
I’m not really sure what the question is, but it seems clear that love is the answer. Perhaps the answer to many questions. If y’all figure out the questions to the answer, love…please feel free to act on that answer. And, while you’re at it. Let us know what the question was.
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Posted in philosophy at 9:01 pm by
We spent the weekend with my Dad and Mom. We had a truly wonderful time. We let them just take care of us, make coffee for us when we needed coffee, paid for dinner, drove us around; it was wonderful. Jen and I needed a chance to reconnect.
It was nice to reconnect to my parents too. My dad especially. My dad is an interesting man. He’s a postmodern pastor of a stalwertly modern church. He’s also one of the wisest men I know. We agree on lots of things and disagree on lots as well. I love him. He really makes me think.
We talked today over lunch. We had a leg of lamb, garlic mashed potatoes, and a wonderful pinot noir from a local vineyard. We talked church. The topic drifted to homosexuality. I hate when it does that. I’m always uncomfortable when I get to the homosexuality topic. I really don’t like it because I don’t really have a position.
So often when we debate about that topic, we go back and forth on the issue. Both sides have such a firm Biblical position. I just don’t understand the Bible on the issue. I was actually pleased to hear that my dad, like I, is also uncertain. I told them, that they might not like it, but I just couldn’t in good conscience take a position about homosexual relationships in the church one way or the other. The only position I have is that I’m called to love God and my neighbor.
It was encouraging to me the response I got from my Mom and Dad. They’re conservative–in most of the popular senses of the word. But they loved me and didn’t degrade my position. In fact, my parents probably would fall conservatively on most issues that I can think of: literal six day creation, homosexual relationships, women in office of the Church, salvation issues (predestination, etc). But despite all of that, we never seem to have a knock down drag out fight.
I think it’s because I love my Dad first, and disagree with him second. He does the same to me. We don’t always do that so well in the online community. We’re so bent on arguing that we’re quick disagree. Perhaps if Christ said the first and greatest commandment is to love God and the second is to set your neighbor straight, then, maybe we’d be doing the right thing.
I’m guilty of this too, of course, you all know this if you’ve seen me in electronic action. I don’t claim not to be a hypocrite.
Perhaps, too, my Dad and I have something in common. We’ve got a mindset…that mindset that perhaps our two seemingly irreconcilable views aren’t really irreconcilable at all. Maybe they just seem irreconcilable because neither of us have big enough minds to understand how they reconcile. But that’s the magic of postmodernism, one understanding of it at least. We don’t need to understand HOW views can both be accurate (though imperfect) descriptors, we just need to believe that those views can help us to decrease the overall fuzziness of the puzzle.
I don’t have all the answers. I only hope to find a few more of those answers out as time goes on, but I’ll never get anywhere close to having all the answers. When it comes down to it, though, I think that one of the answers to one of the big questions is love.
I’m not really sure what the question is, but it seems clear that love is the answer. Perhaps the answer to many questions. If y’all figure out the questions to the answer, love…please feel free to act on that answer. And, while you’re at it. Let us know what the question was.
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W. Ray Beaver said,
November 1, 2004 at 12:23 am
Blessings on you and your dad. If only all Christians could be as accepting, loving and understanding.
Dan Olson said,
November 1, 2004 at 2:36 am
I think the problem is less with how conservative Christians view the morality of homosexuality than with the childish and ignorant methods they use to express their opposition to it.
maiken said,
November 1, 2004 at 7:13 am
I love this post! I was just thinking how lost I was getting in all the question - and I too believe that Love is the answer to many of them. I was thinking about love last night and how no one can live without it. Sure we might be alive physically, but our soul is dying without it. It’s what life is made out of. Or at least love is what manifests that life is in you. “We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death.” “God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.” Just some of my disorganized thoughts
Brandon said,
November 1, 2004 at 8:35 am
Thanks to all! Dan, I completely agree with your thoughts on how conservative folks express their thoughts on homosexuality and other hot button topics. I would only add that, too often, they’re responding to a militant liberal standpoint. Again, I think the answer is love.
Brandon said,
November 1, 2004 at 8:37 am
I would also add that the militant liberal standpoint is one that people like me propogate. I know why I do it…but I think that my love for others sometimes is in conflict with itself.
Dan Olson said,
November 1, 2004 at 10:27 pm
I think the harder balance to strike is the one between allowing someone you love to continue in sinful and destructive behavior and being non-judgemental. “Grace and truth” is the classic Biblical balance that Christians have to obtain. When you relate to other people too little grace makes you a jerk, while too little truth makes you complacent. I know of groups that err on each side, I’m sure everyone here does as well.
Brandon said,
November 1, 2004 at 10:35 pm
And you’d be right, Dan. We all do err.
Just Pat said,
November 1, 2004 at 11:18 pm
My friend.
You have just succeeded in breaching the formidable fortress of this issue, not simply by focusing on love and relationship, but by allowing the issue of homosexuality to take a back seat to the two.
Do you realize that by doing so, you have touched the heart of the wound?
Bravo.
Opus said,
November 2, 2004 at 12:33 am
I’m becoming quite attached to this blog and posts like this are the reason why.
Christopher said,
November 2, 2004 at 8:45 am
Brandon,
Interesting post. If there had been that kind of love you describe between your father and yourself despite differences and disagreements, I wouldn’t have had to “divorce” the greater part of my family. Then again, it’s easy to talk theoreticals or reduce people down to issues or theoretically love them; it’s another thing to sit in the same room and talk with queer folk as folk rather than about queer folk; it’s even more of a challenge to see that some of us have faith lives and relationships with God, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. It seems these days that many Christians don’t believe that they too are simul justus et peccator (simultaneously sinner and saint), and before they go pointing out grace and truth to others, they might take a good hard look at themselves… My good friend Derek Darves said it well at The Witness in his article “Divided Church is Dividing the Nation”: In reading the New Testament, one cannot avoid the centrality of a few simple, yet radical, assertions: that the most noble life is one that protects the poor and vulnerable among us; that children should be protected and cherished; that forgiveness is of paramount important and that we are too flawed, anyway, to base our systems of faith on negative judgment of the behavior of others. Yet none of these assertions assume anything like prominence in many contemporary Christian congregations.
peace of Christ,
Captainwow said,
November 7, 2004 at 2:22 pm
APPLAUSE. Great Post… Thanks for writing this.