09.30.04

the anti-christ

Posted in faith, politics at 12:46 pm by

So, I was thinking about Revelation last night. You know, fire, brimstone, nebulous dudes charging around on various colored stallions unleashing bowls of wrath on the earth and shit, etc. (I’ve always fancied Revelation as that book where God nances around kicking ass and taking names.) You get the idea. It occurs to me that I think I know who the anti-christ is.

You all remember back in Sunday School, when the teacher talked about Revelation she–or he, but women can only be trusted with the smallest of minds because they are inferior to men…so it was probably a she–talked about the anti-christ. You remember what she said, right? He’ll go around and get people to follow him people will think he’s good. Probably, if you’re like me, you began to panic at this point because you were worried you would fall for the anti-christ.

At this point the teacher tells you, because she too must have been like me once, that you needn’t worry about falling for the anti-christ because while he says he is good…he bears bad fruit. “Whew! Dodged that bullet.” Me and all the other 2nd graders in my Sunday School class thought, we’ll know he’s bad because he does bad things. (We prefer to go on in gleeful ignorance of the question, if he does such bad things why do people follow him?)

So, anyway, that’s my concept of anti-christ. I don’t really know if I believe it the way it was rolled out to me anymore. The concept could just be a metaphor for the type of evil that humans will battle in the world, or the anti-christ could have been many people throughout history. But for the sake of argument, today I’ll assume that it’s just one dude.

Okay, here it is, my pick for anti-christ (drumroll) goes to none other than the President of the United States. Now, hold on. Bear with me, here. Just think about it for a minute. Lots of people follow him. He sells himself as being a person of the light. He’s commander in chief of an (arguably) unjust war. He gives to the rich and takes from the poor. He supports the growth of a reckless amount of debt. Seems to fit the bill to me, right?

Obviously, I don’t believe this. Yet, it seems as though the Republican Party thinks it about John Kerry. For what other reason could a group unveil something as viscious as the pamphlet sent out to Alabama and West Virginia folks that claimed that John Kerry would ban the Bible? Actually, it was even worse. The pamphlet claimed that “democrats” would ban the Bible. Now it’s not just Kerry that is the anti-christ, but the whole of freakin’ capitol hill is just crawling with the little demons.

I suppose as long as there are liberals there will be conservatives there to call them the scourge of morality (and vice versa.) In the meantime, I think I’ll sit by my little window and keep my eye out for any horseman of the apocalypse, rumor has it they’re going to be out kicking ass and taking names.

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the anti-christ

Posted in faith, politics at 12:46 pm by

So, I was thinking about Revelation last night. You know, fire, brimstone, nebulous dudes charging around on various colored stallions unleashing bowls of wrath on the earth and shit, etc. (I’ve always fancied Revelation as that book where God nances around kicking ass and taking names.) You get the idea. It occurs to me that I think I know who the anti-christ is.

You all remember back in Sunday School, when the teacher talked about Revelation she–or he, but women can only be trusted with the smallest of minds because they are inferior to men…so it was probably a she–talked about the anti-christ. You remember what she said, right? He’ll go around and get people to follow him people will think he’s good. Probably, if you’re like me, you began to panic at this point because you were worried you would fall for the anti-christ.

At this point the teacher tells you, because she too must have been like me once, that you needn’t worry about falling for the anti-christ because while he says he is good…he bears bad fruit. “Whew! Dodged that bullet.” Me and all the other 2nd graders in my Sunday School class thought, we’ll know he’s bad because he does bad things. (We prefer to go on in gleeful ignorance of the question, if he does such bad things why do people follow him?)

So, anyway, that’s my concept of anti-christ. I don’t really know if I believe it the way it was rolled out to me anymore. The concept could just be a metaphor for the type of evil that humans will battle in the world, or the anti-christ could have been many people throughout history. But for the sake of argument, today I’ll assume that it’s just one dude.

Okay, here it is, my pick for anti-christ (drumroll) goes to none other than the President of the United States. Now, hold on. Bear with me, here. Just think about it for a minute. Lots of people follow him. He sells himself as being a person of the light. He’s commander in chief of an (arguably) unjust war. He gives to the rich and takes from the poor. He supports the growth of a reckless amount of debt. Seems to fit the bill to me, right?

Obviously, I don’t believe this. Yet, it seems as though the Republican Party thinks it about John Kerry. For what other reason could a group unveil something as viscious as the pamphlet sent out to Alabama and West Virginia folks that claimed that John Kerry would ban the Bible? Actually, it was even worse. The pamphlet claimed that “democrats” would ban the Bible. Now it’s not just Kerry that is the anti-christ, but the whole of freakin’ capitol hill is just crawling with the little demons.

I suppose as long as there are liberals there will be conservatives there to call them the scourge of morality (and vice versa.) In the meantime, I think I’ll sit by my little window and keep my eye out for any horseman of the apocalypse, rumor has it they’re going to be out kicking ass and taking names.

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