09.17.04
Posted in culture at 5:14 pm by
Today I was a bad christian. I cleaned the house and used swiffers instead of a mop. I deserve to be thrashed because I’m not a good steward of God’s earth. I suppose that’s nothing new though. Here’s the things that I did today that made me a bad christian.
- I spit my gum out of the car window instead of throwing it in the trash.
- I kindof got sick of proofreading essays for masters students of accounting so I didn’t really catch everything I probably should have.
- I used waaaayyyyy too much dishwasher detergent.
- I cleaned the toilet without wearing gloves.
- I said shit at least 154 times while working on an essay for school.
- I drank a Pabst Blue Ribbon (there’s a story here but you’ll all just have to wait) rather than a “real beer.”
- I didn’t pray before lunch.
- I didn’t eat breakfast.
- I did pray before taking my morning dump (the toilet looked plugged and I couldn’t wait, so don’t blame me…anyway, God made my crap go bye-bye) and I think that might just be sacrilege.
- I forgot to brush my teeth–I’ll do it now, dear, ok, I’m back.
- For just a minute, I stopped caring if our house got cleaned for our company tonight.
All things I could’ve done better. But didn’t. Unfortunately, that’s a pretty tame day for me. My friends, that’s what’s so amazing about grace. That I’m allowed to keep on messing up and still be blessed.
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Posted in culture at 5:14 pm by
Today I was a bad christian. I cleaned the house and used swiffers instead of a mop. I deserve to be thrashed because I’m not a good steward of God’s earth. I suppose that’s nothing new though. Here’s the things that I did today that made me a bad christian.
- I spit my gum out of the car window instead of throwing it in the trash.
- I kindof got sick of proofreading essays for masters students of accounting so I didn’t really catch everything I probably should have.
- I used waaaayyyyy too much dishwasher detergent.
- I cleaned the toilet without wearing gloves.
- I said shit at least 154 times while working on an essay for school.
- I drank a Pabst Blue Ribbon (there’s a story here but you’ll all just have to wait) rather than a “real beer.”
- I didn’t pray before lunch.
- I didn’t eat breakfast.
- I did pray before taking my morning dump (the toilet looked plugged and I couldn’t wait, so don’t blame me…anyway, God made my crap go bye-bye) and I think that might just be sacrilege.
- I forgot to brush my teeth–I’ll do it now, dear, ok, I’m back.
- For just a minute, I stopped caring if our house got cleaned for our company tonight.
All things I could’ve done better. But didn’t. Unfortunately, that’s a pretty tame day for me. My friends, that’s what’s so amazing about grace. That I’m allowed to keep on messing up and still be blessed.
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greg said,
September 17, 2004 at 6:50 pm
I’m okay with everything except the Pabst. I think you go to hell for that.
Just Pat said,
September 17, 2004 at 10:33 pm
Yep, I’m with the atheist on this one.
Brandon said,
September 17, 2004 at 10:58 pm
is greg an atheist?
greg said,
September 17, 2004 at 11:20 pm
I’ve been called worse.
Brandon said,
September 17, 2004 at 11:25 pm
Or better depending on how you look at it.
Just Pat said,
September 17, 2004 at 11:31 pm
Oops…it’s late, and I could have sworn I read “VA.” Sorry Greg! Whatever you are, I’m with you on the Pabst thing. I’ve got Bohemian blood in my veins.
off shore fisherman said,
September 18, 2004 at 9:12 pm
But did you do the “swiffer dance?”
Brandon said,
September 18, 2004 at 11:08 pm
the “swiffer dance”! Well, of course I did! I was swiffering.
Visiting Atheist said,
September 19, 2004 at 4:23 am
Dude. If you had kicked your neighbor’s puppy or something you’d be okay, but Pabst? I don’t even believe in hell and I still think you’re going there.
Brandon said,
September 19, 2004 at 9:22 am
lol, va! good stuff.