06.20.04
Posted in fun at 9:40 pm by
I feel compelled this fathers day to share some thoughts about fatherhood. I know many of you are asking yourselves, “what the hell does Brandon know about fatherhood?” This is a fair question as I am not really a father…not of humans at least.
My first foray into fatherhood has been one shared with two cats, Paige and Thelma. They’ve sort of been a test drive for me…you know a chance for me to see if I’m really too big of a screw up to truly procreate for real. Paige, or as my friend and co-worker, Ben, refers to her, the bitch, is a bit on the demanding side of cats. Quite simply,Paige is a bitch–though I’d never say it to her face(in fact, even as I write this with Paige in the room I’m hunched over the computer screen hoping she doesn’t catch on that I’m writing about her.) She’s giving me a nasty look though…I think she knows.
I’m afraid though, I’ve no one but myself to blame for Paige’s disposition. I may play a little rough with her. I’ll hold her sometimes and sing to her. You’re thinking to yourself, “Awww, sweet. Singing Lullabyes to a kitty!” Not so. Usually, I’m singing Ben Harper to Paige. I just can’t help but laugh when she pulls away from me during the chorus of Ben’s rendition of “Steal My Kisses” and I stick my go-tee into her little nose, or dancing around to “You’ve lost that lovin’ feeling”. Then I laugh when she growls a bit and takes a swipe at my face. She looks at me with malice…if only I could hear what she’s thinking…
someday, when I’m older, I’m going to write a book. I’m gonna be a rich and successful cat and i’m going to make this sap sorry for singing songs about kissing to a cat. What a friggin’ sicko….yeah, you’re damn right i’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’. Friggin’ prick.
More likely, she’s thinking…
I’m gonna burn one down, oh yes, I’m gonna burn one down…
So, I guess the moral of the story is that I’m a lousy father, or that even though I love cats, I’m misunderstood. Ah, hell. Who am I to apply a moral to a story? Have a nice day!
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Posted in fun at 9:40 pm by
I feel compelled this fathers day to share some thoughts about fatherhood. I know many of you are asking yourselves, “what the hell does Brandon know about fatherhood?” This is a fair question as I am not really a father…not of humans at least.
My first foray into fatherhood has been one shared with two cats, Paige and Thelma. They’ve sort of been a test drive for me…you know a chance for me to see if I’m really too big of a screw up to truly procreate for real. Paige, or as my friend and co-worker, Ben, refers to her, the bitch, is a bit on the demanding side of cats. Quite simply,Paige is a bitch–though I’d never say it to her face(in fact, even as I write this with Paige in the room I’m hunched over the computer screen hoping she doesn’t catch on that I’m writing about her.) She’s giving me a nasty look though…I think she knows.
I’m afraid though, I’ve no one but myself to blame for Paige’s disposition. I may play a little rough with her. I’ll hold her sometimes and sing to her. You’re thinking to yourself, “Awww, sweet. Singing Lullabyes to a kitty!” Not so. Usually, I’m singing Ben Harper to Paige. I just can’t help but laugh when she pulls away from me during the chorus of Ben’s rendition of “Steal My Kisses” and I stick my go-tee into her little nose, or dancing around to “You’ve lost that lovin’ feeling”. Then I laugh when she growls a bit and takes a swipe at my face. She looks at me with malice…if only I could hear what she’s thinking…
someday, when I’m older, I’m going to write a book. I’m gonna be a rich and successful cat and i’m going to make this sap sorry for singing songs about kissing to a cat. What a friggin’ sicko….yeah, you’re damn right i’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’. Friggin’ prick.
More likely, she’s thinking…
I’m gonna burn one down, oh yes, I’m gonna burn one down…
So, I guess the moral of the story is that I’m a lousy father, or that even though I love cats, I’m misunderstood. Ah, hell. Who am I to apply a moral to a story? Have a nice day!
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Trackback URL »
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